As Stephen Fry demonstrated on Twitter a few days ago, it’s easy to allow a vocal critic to screw things up for you.
In Stephen Fry’s case, one of his followers told him that his tweets were boring. Fry then threatened to quit Twitter and sever his ties with the million people who actually DO enjoy what he has to share. Whilst Stephen Fry’s lives with some well documented mental health challenges, his reaction to this criticism is common among many business owners; who allow fear of criticism to hurt their businesses.
Fear of criticism
I had an email today from a reader, who wants to add a pop-up box to her website; to encourage people to subscribe to her newsletter. She explained how she was concerned that some of her readers might not like it. In my reply, I explained that her decision should be based on what’s the correct thing to do and not what’s the easiest thing to do. If there’s a chance that by adding a pop-up box, she will get more subscribers and as a result make more sales or win more clients – then it’s worth testing and measuring it.
She then sent me a 2nd email, which said how she was worried that a few hyper-critical readers would complain. Apparently, her readership is over 3,000 and she’s seriously considering missing out on a potentially effective way to grow her readership, because of what 3 or 4 readers (not customers) might think or say!
This got me thinking:
- I wonder how many great ideas have never seen the light of day, for fear of criticism?
- I wonder how many opportunities the average business owner or entrepreneur misses each year, for fear of what the vocal minority might say or think?
Here’s a question to ponder:
What changes would you make to your business, if you knew for certain there would be no negative criticism?
Criticism: What do you think?
I would love to hear your feedback on either the people who criticise or those who allow fear of criticism to govern their decisions. Let us know what you think!
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Great post!
This is a very, very hard lesson to learn in business and in personal life. A lot of people do not want to rock the boat with people who may give them potential business. There are some personalities that feel that they have to please all people all of the time. It’s been said time and time again that this is impossible. Given this, so why not do something that would have a possibility of a greater return (within reason, like with adding pop ups to a web site), even if it means some people will not like you.
Thanks for that insight Christine. Of course, it’s impossible to please everyone – which is why (in my opinion) we need a more effective strategy in business and life.
Jim,
This is an excellent post on a very significant topic (imho).
Much of the popularity of social media is found in surrounding ones opinions with those that agree – when we often learn the most from those that disagree.It is those who have different perspectives but continue to engage with us that provide value However – Those that complain, flame and leave should concern no businessperson who seriously wants to test new marketing methods. Those that express a reasoned opinion and yet respect that ultimately it is the business decision of the “proprietor” as to how to run their business are the ones that serve us best (as long as we are staying within standard moral and ethically accepted business practises). Bottom Line – the market will determine whether you are doing it right – not the complainers (unless of course the complainers that do leave to go elsewhere outnumber the market for your offering)
Interesting Dan – thanks.
Your point about the value of feedback from those who disagree with us is very good. I learn from people with different opinions to mine all the time and value their input. I see them as very different to those who are ’serial critics.’ When someone allows fear of what someone might say to govern their decisions, they will never grow as a person and their business will have an artificially low ceiling on its potential.
From a business perspective, plans are largely objective..and if carried out correctly, would include a form of SWOT analysis and therefore the negative minority would be largely insignificant or accounted for in the process.
In terms of social interaction, confidence and awareness are the intangible planning tools..if one is focussed on the cause then its polite to acknowledge the doubter or critique but to soldier on regardless holding onto ones belief and value.
Thanks for the feedback.
Your closing comment, about moving forward based on values / beliefs is spot on Cath.
Jim,
You touch upon a reason many of our clients are reluctant to engage in social media. What do they do about the critics? We say, engage with them to the degree that it is valuable to both parties, but recognize that some critics are jealous, bitter, or are suffering from some issue which stems from something that can’t be remedied – and politely disengage.
Another thing, a few criticisms sure do make the compliments that much sweeter!
I think you are on to something there Tracey. Some (maybe most) critics are the ones with the issues and they are projecting them on to people, who they feel jealous or bitter about.
Thanks for the feedback.
Jim,
criticism, worded harshly, can be hard to accept calmly. Even from friends constructive criticism can take time and courage to digest. Criticism, among other things, disturbs our world view, our mental equilibrium, and throws us off balance. Of course that CAN be a good thing, but at the time it rarely feels like it. It takes practice and skill to get used to being out of balance and seeing opportunities in being so.
Thanks for a thoughtful article.
I love your opening line; “criticism, worded harshly, can be hard to accept calmly.”
I agree with you Gary, that it takes courage to be prepared to face criticism. Of course, the more you decide to ‘be your own person’ the easier it becomes to accept the knocks that often come, when you dare to be different.
Thanks for the comment.
I think Stephen Fry was a poor example to use.
As he’s corrected himself,
he was in a hyper-sensitive state of mind.
Anyone who cannot handle the mildest criticism is doomed.
If England was filled with such emotional frailty
in 1940, they’d be speaking German now.
A better example is Chris Brogan,
who was criticized by anal ysts, etc last year or two,
as a fluffy caricature, with no real value.
The innuendos between the lines of these critics were
essential assassinations of character,
and business model.
Funny thing; last week Delta Airlines,
Coca Cola, and CNN were flying Brogan
in, asking for affect on their steering.
Hello Ed. I used Stephen Fry as an example because he has close to a million followers and his decision made the mainstream news here in England.
I think a better example of Chris Brogan, were the hateful posts people published when he started offering sponsored posts on his blog. I even had people on THIS blog slamming him.
He knew that there would be a negative response, yet he also believed that he was doing the right thing.
People like those you mentioned will always hire talent. Chris is talent.
You are right. I have had a friend who had a suggestion from a person in the industry on what to do well and he took it as a VERY BAD email. I personally thought it was a chance to grow and to find out what your strengths are and what you can do better to market yourself in a bad economy when looking for a job.
I would rather have someone tell me what they don’t like then to be doing everything wrong and never have a chance to learn. I think if done correctly then you have a better chance of improvement.
Thanks for the comment!
Learning is part of growing – essential if we want to develop as people / businesspeople.
The thing is Jamei, many people will be considering making a change that could massively improve their business or their lives, yet stop from doing it for fear of what critics ‘might’ say or do.
We have to allow our decisions to be governed by what we believe to be the right thing to do; not what we think will attract the least amount of criticism.
Great examples – well, i think business owners need to learn to let go. That’s what social media is about isn’t it?
Even the hottest pop start (MJ!) has critics. The more popular a brand, the more critics there will be. Period.
Good morning Kian.
It’s certainly true that as you become better known, you attract more critics. As Tracey said in an earlier comment, a lot of it is jealousy. I guess thehe ‘bigger’ you get the more there is for small minded people to become jealous about.
Thanks for the feedback.
Thanks, Jim, for another thought-provoking post. I have often struggled with “what will people think?” Sometimes it has stopped me dead in my tracks. I think it is important to make sure a decision is sound by running it by a few trusted sources but if you stop on what is a good sound idea because of fear of a few people being negative, you will get stuck in the “what if I had?’ mode for the rest of your life.
It’s always good to get feedback Julie. So long as we trust the source of the feedback and place it into context, it can be really valuable.
Thanks for the comment and your kind words.
I saw the news about Stephen Fry and the “will he, won’t he” after-effect. To be honest, I didn’t see what all the commotion was about. So someone said something about Fry’s tweets being boring – I’m sure he’s had worse comments from reviews and critics in his lifetime.
The thing to remember is if you’re going to put yourself in the public eye – acting, business, even blogging – you’re going to get your fair share of critics as well as fans. No-one is so amazing that everybody loves them.
If you can’t take some criticism, don’t enter the playing field. Besides, criticism can often be the best kind of business improvement plan – run with it.
Hello Danny. You’re spot on about attracting more criticism, as your profile increases. I discussed this at the start of the year with Robert Scoble and was amazed how much negative crap he has aimed at him. He deals with it extremely well because, as you said in your comment, it goes with the territory.
Thanks for the feedback!
Because we put a lot of ourselves into the product/blog post/service etc, it feels that when someone criticises *it*, they are criticising *us*. The slur then becomes magnified and distorted in our own minds.
When you put yourself out there, feedback from others does go with the territory. For newcomers and people who are used to polite corporate wording, there is a learning curve involved in developing methods to deal with it in a constructive way.
Stephen Fry had a momentary loss of perspective and recovered. Businesses too can recover (e.g. Habitat after their trending topic spam on twitter). And so too in personal relationships.
The trick I think is in being willing to accept 1) we’re not perfect and most probably will react badly at times and 2) that holding onto the hurt of real or imagined criticism prevents us from learning to respond in a better way next time.
Great points Reeta.
I’d like to read a post form you about that!!