How well do you handle criticism?
If you use blogging, newsletters and/or social media sites as a way to market your services, you will receive varying levels of criticism. Paradoxically, the more successful you become, the more criticism you will receive, because your work will reach more people.
I wrote a post in January, about the criticism bloggers receive, which readers never get to see – emails etc. Today’s post covers other forms of criticism, and offers some ideas on why it happens and how to deal with it effectively.
I would also like to encourage YOU to add your tips at the end of the post!
Genuine, informed criticism
This is when someone, who knows the subject in question, believes they have found something in what you are doing or saying, which is incorrect. Their motives are well intentioned and their feedback is often of great value, even though many people greet it with hostility or sarcasm. In my experience, genuine, informed critics almost always tell you their opinion via email, the phone or face-to-face – Rather than via a social network or blog comment etc. That’s because their intention is to help and nothing else.
Genuine, yet ill-informed criticism
Some people are going to tell you that you are doing something wrong or that you “don’t get it” and their intentions are good; yet their feedback is from an ill-informed perspective. Like the people in the above example, these guys mean well, but unlike that example, their help is more likely to hinder you than it is to help you.
If we act on criticism that is factually wrong, we make bad decisions. This is why it’s really important to check the source of the feedback we receive, before we decide to take action. If someone with no expertise or experience in something is criticising you in that area, get some more feedback from an informed source.
Non-criticism, criticism
Just because someone disagrees with our point of view, does not mean they are being critical of us. It’s easy to regard those who see things differently, as being negatively critical, when they are simply offering a different perspective. This is especially the case with blog comments, where readers will often take a counter-point from the blogger or a fellow commenter. The whole point of asking for comments and feedback, is to get different opinions and ideas.
Finally, consider the motivation behind negative criticism
People do what they do for a reason. If we take a moment to consider why someone might make a critical comment about us or our work, it’s easy to see the point they are making in the correct context.
Some do it to attract “traffic”. For example, the best-known bloggers often find less established bloggers writing extremely critical posts about them, in the hope that the popular blogger mentions them and in so doing, delivers a ton of traffic to the critic’s blog. Some do it to get noticed. Others do it because they just LOVE to look for the negative (I get lots of these, whenever I make a spelling error.) Some do it just to have a little fun, at our expense.
The bottom line: There many reasons that people feel compelled to negatively criticise and many different types of criticism. If you use (or plan to use) blogging, social networking sites and newsletters etc, as part of your marketing mix, negative criticism is all part of the feedback you will receive, as your audience grows.
Your tips on dealing with negative criticism
If you have any ideas, tips or experience of dealing with negative criticism (especially online), please share them with your fellow readers and myself, by leaving a comment below.
Photo: Johnny Jet
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Question, Jim
Negative criticism = “Ouch! That hurt! Am I really that way? Is there any truth, even a little bit, in what this other person just said? Did I mess up? I don’t want to do that again! What can I learn about this and about me that will help me do better, and not make that mistake again?
Positive Solution : see what I have done here? I have taken what would be a negative event for most people, and turned it into a positive opportunity to become BETTER! When people see you do that, they will likely think, “s/he is a classy person”!
It is a WIN-WIN situation!
Ps. It’s only fear when both parties learn to accepts when s/he is mistaken! Now, a conversation wouldn’t hurt either it be by Phone and/or Social media!
Conclusion :: For Your #1 example “You state ONLY professionals that knows and don’t want NOTHING in return makes calls/emails (privately)
.. I KINDA find that far off! Since I can’t call You if I wanted too. Emails I have sent, but only through social networks is where a REAL contact/communication can be made these days. So I use wisely since I now know/learned that online comments is almost everyone’s weak spot.
Norman Flecha
STRAIGHTALK
.-= STRAIGHTALK´s last blog ..Do You make MONEY online?? =-.
The kind of criticism I’ve had so far has been either constructive, or what you’re calling “genuine but ill-informed”. More often than not as yet it has written on my blog, with just a few emails.
My general stance has been to engage with it. I believe that people have a right to their position on things and I’m not afraid of difference. If people say something that’s a bit “off” on the blog, I sometimes wait to see whether anyone else in my community of commentors will dialogue with it, or reference it at all. Otherwise I see it as an opportunity to showcase some of thoughts or ideas that perhaps weren’t immediately obvious in the blog.
.-= Christine Livingston´s last blog ..Deviation From The Norm – My Different Kind Of Work =-.
Hi Jim,
How do you recommend dealing with negative criticism?
Tammi
.-= Tammi Kibler´s last blog ..Freelance Writers Placement: Scam, Spam, or “Thank You, Ma’am?” =-.
Great post. This is true, not only in blogs and social media. I mean look at celebrities, the more famous they are, the more critics and haters they get. The thing is you cannot please everybody. The difference with celebrities and blogging criticisms is that you, the blogger get to hear them, and it’s because you asked for their feedback. And it may not always be a positive one.
The thing to remember when receiving criticism is to first be open-minded about it. The critics could be right and it is an opportunity (like Straightalk said) for you to improve/correct any mistakes. If you still don’t agree with him, well, just agree to disagree. We are all entitled to our opinions but we don’t have to be immature about it. Coz there would be times it could get messy and it would start getting personal (which I don’t think will happen here, you have very mature insightful readers =D)
Remember that your readers came from different backgrounds, and they would always offer a fresh perspective on the matter.
So, do not lose your cool. Trolls exist in the internet. Never ever feed the trolls =D
Do agree with you, lot of folks do the criticism just to get an attention. If you find a healthy criticism from a person who sincerely want beneficial change, he or she must be regarded by your firm to make him feel that this firm give respect to opinion of its customer. This thing will increase the loyal customers.
I have definitely had my fair share of constructive criticism and what makes a difference to me if it bears good intentions or ill intentions is the delivery. While someones constructive criticism of you may have good intentions, the manner in which they deliver that criticism to you definitely makes a difference. I suppose regardless of the delivery it is good to know how to handle that criticism and to use it to your best advantage.
Jay Adams published an excellent post yesterday on this topic at Smedio.com.
.-= Tammi Kibler´s last blog ..Writing Markets: Get Your Foot in the Door with Local Businesses =-.
Honestly, I ask my wife’s opinion as to whether the criticism is fair. I’ve found her to be incredibly clear-eyed and objective.
.-= Tom Wanek´s last blog ..Escape The Box =-.
Hi Tom. It can be a good idea to use another person’s viewpoint / perspective as a filter. Good tip – Thanks for the comment!
Hi Jim,
How do you recommend dealing with negative criticism?
Tammi
.-= Tammi Kibler´s last blog ..Freelance Writers Placement: Scam, Spam, or “Thank You, Ma’am?” =-.
Hi Amy,
As I said in the post, there are many different types of criticism and each requires a different response. In my experience, the most effective way to deal with a critic and what they say, is first to check what THEIR motivation for the criticism is. Some, for example, who criticise bloggers do so just to get mentioned and thus, hope to attract traffic to their own blogs. Others will criticise you based on poor data – in other words, they misunderstood something and made their critique based on that. Others will criticise you through jealousy, greed or even just to get a response.
With so many variables, it’s hard to think of a single correct response. I hope that makes sense?
Yes, thank you, Jim. I see it would depend on my assumptions of motives.
Great topic and I am grateful to all above who shared their insights as well.
.-= Tammi Kibler´s last blog ..Blog Comments: Why Bother If Not for SEO? =-.
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Jim,
I’m learning to say, “I’ll have to give that some thought,” and then give it some thought! Sometimes people just want to be heard so I listen, but that buffer of time and thought helps me to see things clearly and to know how to respond better.
Lori
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