I’d like to share an idea with you today. It’s about how to get all the help you and your business will ever need.

Of course, we see people doing it wrong every day. Strangers, asking us to do things for them.

  • They ask us to connect with them on Linkedin.
  • They ask us to tell our friends about their business.
  • They ask us to retweet their Twitter messages.
  • They ask us, via a spam email, to subscribe to the newsletter they just sent us.

The list goes on and on… strangers making selfish demands.

Selfish demands don’t work

Selfish demands succeed only in irritating people. I receive around a dozen emails a day, from total strangers who expect me to write blog posts about their product or service. I refuse. Always. Like most people, I don’t respond positively to selfish demands from strangers.

So, why is it that some people have no problem getting all the help they need?

Why we eagerly helped Jenny and felt great about it

When a friend of mine launched her new business, she was inundated with people who wanted to help. If you knew Jenny, you’d know why. She’s one of the most helpful people I have ever met.

The launch of her business was an opportunity for me and many others, to repay her kindness and support.

The power of reciprocity

This need to return someone’s kindness is sometimes referred to as reciprocity. And it’s extremely powerful. It’s why the process of giving and receiving, starts with the giving part. It’s why we earn the money… then get paid.

Selfish demands fail because they attempt to do the opposite. When the guy emails me and asks me to post his infographic on my blog, it’s 100% about him.

  • He gets exposure to my amazing readers.
  • He gets a valuable link, from my blog to his site.
  • He gets his company name in front of thousands of people.
  • All I get is the penalty of linking my blog and reputation to a stranger — A stranger I know nothing about, other than he’s the kind of asshole, who spams people with selfish demands.

Those who demand strangers to do things for them, face a lot of  disappointment. Not only do they fail to get what they demand, they get something they didn’t ask for — a toxic reputation.

A better mindset for business owners

The smartest people are always building relationships with others. They keenly look for ways to contribute. They do this, without knowing (or caring) if they will need that person’s help in the future. That’s the mindset, my friend Jenny has.

In short: Before you expect people to be motivated to help you or your business, make sure you’ve invested in them, first. Remember, give and take starts with the giving part.

PS: If you found today’s post interesting, I recommend you read this: 3 Mistakes that make you look bad and damage your business.

About Jim Connolly: I help small business owners attract more high quality clients, make more sales and boost their profits. To see how I can help you and your business, read this.