How good an observer are you?
One of the lessons my mentor shared with me, was the commercial value of being a good observer. This means observing what’s happening and looking for the beauty or lesson in what you see. It also means looking at the subtext of conversations and the meaning behind what people say, rather than just the words themselves.
When we look at a person’s actions or words on a surface level, its easy to miss the bigger picture. For example:
- Bob may be telling you he’s fine, because he really is fine.
- Alternatively, Bob may be telling you he’s fine because he’s uncomfortable asking you for the help he desperately needs.
I was prompted to write this post, after something I saw when I went out for lunch last week.
I was in a coffee shop enjoying my shrimp salad, when I noticed the people on the table next to mine were complaining about how long it was taking them to be served. However, when the waitress brought their order and asked, without even making eye contact, if everything was OK, they said “Yes.” As soon as she left their table, they carried on complaining about the service.
The message below the words
If the waitress in that example simply listened to what these diners said, she would have thought everything was fine. If she observed the situation more deeply, she would have been able to tell very quickly that they were less than happy. Their tone of voice, body language and lack of engagement were shouting out how displeased they were.
If you want to really know what your clients, customers and contacts are thinking or what additional help they may need, it pays to invest the time required to be a better observer.
The bottom line: Business is all about people, which makes the development of our people skills an essential part of our toolbox.