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Criticism is always personal

By Jim Connolly | May 3, 2012

How do you deal with it, when someone says something negative about you or your work?

I was thinking about this recently, when I saw someone reacting to some very negative comments on her blog. The blogger was clearly frustrated and angry, judging by the way she reacted. At one point, someone told her to stop taking the comments to heart.

That’s pretty good advice, but it’s just not as easy as that, right? When you are working hard and are passionate about your work, then someone slams it, it’s damn hard not to take it personally!

So, what do we do?

Understand that it’s about them, not about you!

One of the most powerful breakthroughs in my life, came when I figured out that negative feedback from people was personal – but personal to THEM and not ME! They say what they say, driven by their reasons or their motives. They are feeding a need they have. They react based on their views, biases and agendas, not yours.

Sometimes, the negative feedback you receive will be intended to help you identify something, which you need to improve. Other times, feedback will be intended to hurt you. In both cases, it will be feeding a need that the other person has.

Clearly, you can not control what people decide they want to say. However, you can decide how you choose to respond!

The small business owners I work with enjoy far more sales, attract better clients and grow amazing businesses.
If you want the same, here’s exactly how it happens.

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Hi! I'm Jim Connolly and I help small business owners to increase sales, boost their profits and build amazing businesses. Read more here.

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