What everyone ought to know about the power of gratitude

How often do you take time out to thank people, who have either helped or supported you in some way?

 

You may think that’s a silly question, but I find that many small business owners are not too hot when it comes to saying “thanks!”  The reason I wanted to share this with you, is that business is essentially all about people.  Ungrateful people find life an uphill struggle, with fewer and fewer people willing to help them.

Conversely, those who readily show their appreciation to people who help or support them, find the world a much more helpful place.

2 very different approaches

I was prompted to write this, after I gave a teenage entrepreneur some free advice yesterday, and returned to my office to find a thank you note.  As you can imagine, this created a very positive impact.  On the opposite side of the ledger, I recently helped promote someone’s blog and their response was to send me Facebook spam!  (Yes, seriously!)  They were clearly totally oblivious to the negative impact their response would have.

Let’s see if we can find a pattern here:

• Very few people who asked for, and received, email advice from me regarding their business problems, ever bothered to say thanks.  In each case, their business was in deep trouble.
• Best selling author and all round marketing good guy, Seth Godin, took the time to say thanks, when we exchanged a few emails regarding a post I was writing.
• Gary Vaynerchuk also took the time, to offer to take me out for a drink when he was in London, after he and I chatted about his (then) upcoming book “Crush It!”
• The Internationally respected and insanely talented Nile Rodgers, co-founder of Chic, also took the time to say thanks when I blogged about the influence he and Bernard Edwards’ music had on me.  Today, I am proud to call Nile a friend.

I find that interesting.

An attitude of gratitude

With just 1 or 2 exceptions, when I think of the most successful people I have known, they were extremely proactive when it came to show their gratitude.  They have figured out how the world works.  They practice, knowingly or unknowingly, what the old school success gurus called “an attitude of gratitude.”  Their attitude is attractive.  It attracts positive responses.  It attracts opportunities.  It attracts people and good faith too, because they show their gratitude, with no hidden motives.  Ironically, this topic was what Seth and I were discussing in our email exchange.

The attitude of ingratitude is the exact opposite.  It repels.  It’s ugly.  It leaves the person who helped you, feeling unrecognised, which is a really stupid move! Why?  Because  recognition is one of the basic human needs.  People need to feel recognised.  Napoleon famously said that his men would fight for money, but they would die for a ribbon (or medal).  That’s the power of recognition.

The attitude of fake gratitude is just as bad.  It says “thanks” – But with strings attached.  It’s usually transparent.  It’s about taking, not contributing.

In many cases, it is NOT that someone isn’t grateful for what another person has done for them that stops them saying “thank you.” It’s often that they either feel a little embarrassed about saying thanks or don’t realise just how much it matters.

Amazing things happen when we look for opportunities to make other people feel recognised.  Taking time to thank those who help, inspire or support us is a great place to start.  Interestingly, as with many things in life, by making other people feel better, we make ourselves feel better too.  I’m sure that one of the reasons I have never had any stress related issues, is that this contribution approach to dealing with people makes the business of business a lot more friendly and enjoyable.

Why not find a few people right now, who have helped, inspired or supported you and send them a quick “thank you” note, email or message.

….Oh, and THANK YOU for reading!