How often do you take time out to thank people, who have either helped or supported you in some way?
You may think that’s a silly question, but I find that many small business owners are not too hot when it comes to saying “thanks!” The reason I wanted to share this with you, is that business is essentially all about people. Ungrateful people find life an uphill struggle, with fewer and fewer people willing to help them.
Conversely, those who readily show their appreciation to people who help or support them, find the world a much more helpful place.
2 very different approaches
I was prompted to write this, after I gave a teenage entrepreneur some free advice yesterday, and returned to my office to find a thank you note. As you can imagine, this created a very positive impact. On the opposite side of the ledger, I recently helped promote someone’s blog and their response was to send me Facebook spam! (Yes, seriously!) They were clearly totally oblivious to the negative impact their response would have.
Let’s see if we can find a pattern here:
- Very few people who asked for, and received, email advice from me regarding their business problems, ever bothered to say thanks. In each case, their business was in deep trouble.
- Best selling author and all round marketing good guy, Seth Godin, took the time to say thanks, when we exchanged a few emails regarding a post I was writing.
- Gary Vaynerchuk also took the time, to offer to take me out for a drink when he was in London, after he and I chatted about his (then) upcoming book “Crush It!”
- The Internationally respected and insanely talented Nile Rodgers, co-founder of Chic, also took the time to say thanks when I blogged about the influence he and Bernard Edwards’ music had on me. Today, I am proud to call Nile a friend.
I find that interesting.
An attitude of gratitude
With just 1 or 2 exceptions, when I think of the most successful people I have known, they were extremely proactive when it came to show their gratitude. They have figured out how the world works. They practice, knowingly or unknowingly, what the old school success gurus called “an attitude of gratitude.” Their attitude is attractive. It attracts positive responses. It attracts opportunities. It attracts people and good faith too, because they show their gratitude, with no hidden motives. Ironically, this topic was what Seth and I were discussing in our email exchange.
The attitude of ingratitude is the exact opposite. It repels. It’s ugly. It leaves the person who helped you, feeling unrecognised, which is a really stupid move! Why? Because recognition is one of the basic human needs. People need to feel recognised. Napoleon famously said that his men would fight for money, but they would die for a ribbon (or medal). That’s the power of recognition.
The attitude of fake gratitude is just as bad. It says “thanks” – But with strings attached. It’s usually transparent. It’s about taking, not contributing.
In many cases, it is NOT that someone isn’t grateful for what another person has done for them that stops them saying “thank you.” It’s often that they either feel a little embarrassed about saying thanks or don’t realise just how much it matters.
Amazing things happen when we look for opportunities to make other people feel recognised. Taking time to thank those who help, inspire or support us is a great place to start. Interestingly, as with many things in life, by making other people feel better, we make ourselves feel better too. I’m sure that one of the reasons I have never had any stress related issues, is that this contribution approach to dealing with people makes the business of business a lot more friendly and enjoyable.
Why not find a few people right now, who have helped, inspired or supported you and send them a quick “thank you” note, email or message.
….Oh, and THANK YOU for reading!
Jim Connolly can help you grow your business and achieve the breakthrough marketing results your hard work deserves. To find out more, simply click here!
Photo: Vista Mommy
As you say Jim, it should be common courtesy to thank somebody who helps you. To do otherwise displays a meanness of spirit.
I agree Gareth. It certainly doesn’t warm you to someone, when they blank you after you’ve helped/supported them.
Hi.
It amazes me how some people find it so difficult to take the time out to say thanks! In reality, it can take less than 10 seconds to pick up the phone or to drop the recipient of that thanks a line.
The goodwill it generates and the relationship that is built as a consequence cannot be understated.
Good reminder!
Interestingly, it was one of the things that really stood out when I first met you. You were very proactive about recognising people and saying thanks. Small things that have a huge positive impact.
Thanks Barney!
Flattery will get you everywhere my friend
Hi Jim,
Powerful post on gratitude.Thank you for writing it!
It’s true that recognition is one of the basic human needs. We always feel better about what we do when we feel it is appreciated. It’s how we’re wired! The underlying message is: don’t take what I do for granted – don’t take ME for granted. It’s impolite and it is bad business.
I love what Napoleon said, that people would fight for money but die for recognition. It’s THAT important!
Lori
“Thank you for writing it!” Very good Lori
As you say, it makes zero sense on any level, to take another person for granted.
Jim, Excellent post on gratitude and thanking others for the support and guidance they give to others either as patrons or has coaches. Very powerful words “Please” and “Thank You” that show character and values in individuals and leadership. It is common courtesy which a lot of people do not have these days. Jim thank you for reminding us of the power of gratitude. I appreciate you and your support.
Thanks for the kind words, Ann.
I like your point, that people who show gratitude also give us an insight into their character. Wish I’d thought of that!
I was talking about this very thing this morning, Jim.
I also wonder how often we remember to thank our clients/customers. Do our regular customers become forgotten in the background sometimes whilst we seek new business? I do hope not.
As always, thank you for a thought provoking and timely post.
I’m glad you found the post useful and timely, Nicky.
One of our clients recently posted a comment on LinkedIn about how great it is to be thanked for a job well done. I was really tempted to comment that it is even better when you get paid on time for the job!!! (They had taken nearly 90 days to pay for the last piece of work done!!)
Not too sure I see the connection with this post, but late payers are a pain in the rear.
In my business, comparatively few clients take the time to thank me, even when I have got them a really great result. I think Siobhan’s point was that a true appreciation of services rendered would include paying the bill promptly, which is a view I also endorse. I agree completely, Jim.
Hi Jim,
The nature of man is very tricky. Most don’t understand or comprehend the power it exercises over the type of persons we believe we are.
Want to test the theory? — Just ask a self-absorbed (ungrateful person) if they express gratefulness and thankfulness in their interactions with others and I’ll bet you their answers won’t come close to how they really are, or how those closest to them perceive them to be. It’s called being blind and oblivious to reality.
Can people change – yes, but far and few between actually ever do and it’s not short of some kind of miraculous change everybody who knows them will clearly see.
You have some people who wake up every morning, regardless of circumstance, grateful to have another day above ground and are inspired by the opportunities a day provides to give something of value to that day; and on the other hand you have those who you wake up pissed off at the world, overwhelmed by a bunch of crap that doesn’t mean squat in the grand scheme of things with their mind anywhere else but grateful.
I don’t know about you Jim, but I’ve met very few people in world who are so grateful they would give their own life to a stranger for the gratefulness of another human soul.
A little extreme?
Maybe… but if you get to this level of gratefulness you’ll move mountains and people with your presence : )
Excellent post, Jim! And you practice what you preach too. I would like to add that when it comes to social media, the people who stand out are those who take the time to recognize those who have shared their posts or thoughts with others. There’s a tendency among some people to only acknowledge those who are well known. This does not inspire warm and fuzzy feelings. I realize that it’s impossible to thank every person for a retweet or a mention, but social media is supposed to be “social”. Not social as in high school, but social as in connecting with others as adults.
Saying thanks and acknowledging someone for something they’ve done goes a long way to building a lasting relationship – in business as well as your personal life.
I know it makes a difference in my day when a client sends a genuine thank you email.
And as Spongebob liked to repeat in an episode “I have an Attitude of Gratitude!” (my daughter just watched this one the other day).
An excellent article Jim – I think it’s a point that needs to be raised again every now and then to make people put their heads up and acknowledge that too much gets taken for granted. A smile or thank you costs you nothing but goes a long way.
Friendly interaction with a client after doing business helps get you noticed too, just a few personal touches will always be remembered.
I think perhaps common courtesy is less common on the internet that it ought to be – people who will routinely hold the door open, are considerate drivers and remember to say please and thank you, may not be as well trained in online etiquette, any thoughts?
Thank you! For the advise and reminder. Nowadays, due to countless business, work and personal related issues, we often forget the impact grattitude generates in our daily lives.
Hi Jim, great blog as always.
When a customer contacts me to say thanks and is genuinely happy with the service we have provided it makes me feel very proud and always lifts my spirits.
I always try to reciprocate this by contacting customers to thank them in any way possible. I believe that small, simple things like this can have nearly as big an impact as the products we provide when it comes to repeat bookings.
Thanks again Jim!
[...] your gratitude. Be fast to thank. Be first to [...]
Thanking someone and expressing gratitude gives a lot of happiness. How many times do we sit back and actually thank all those people who have touched our lives?
I have taken a small step for spreading love & expressing gratitude with: http://www.powerofthanks.com
Please visit & submit your thanks to all those who have touched your lives in different ways.
Life is too short and there is a never a right time to say “Thanks, You are amazing”
Hi Jim, Thanks for Sharing. Your post are so powerful and so inspiring!
[...] and business development guru Jim Connolly blogged about the power of gratitude and I couldn’t agree [...]
Hi Jim,
It strikes me that replying to your comments – whether specifically thanking the commenter or not – should be blog etiquette 101.
And as if to prove this point I have found blogs with authors who are proactive in the comments to have more comments per subscriber which just goes to prove the point you make in this post.
Cheers
Simon
You’re right Simon.
I was on holiday all last week and didn’t get into the comments section. The comment numbers were well down and fewer people shared the posts.
Thanks for the feedback, sir!
[...] if you decided to write a thank you note each day to a different person who has helped or inspired you, for the next 7 [...]